Why i took this class

the professor ifor my jewish studies course wants us to write a one page essay about why we are taking his course. it's 1am, i've been up since 6am, random dark humor is oozing out of my brain. i wrote the following.

I have no grand or profound motive for enrolling in this Jewish Studies course. I am taking this course for the same reason many others are taking it: to fulfill core requirements for my school. I will sit in your class twice a week for the remainder of this semester so that at the end of this semester I can receive a piece of paper. The university will tell my parents that this piece of paper is called a "diploma" and they will be very happy. They will hang the piece of paper on a wall in the den and buy bumper stickers and t-shirts emblazoned with phrases like "Purdue Dad" and "Purdue Mom." All of this, to your dismay, has nothing to do with the content of your course.

I'm sure that I ought to offer some sort of explanation as to why I chose your course out of the myriad of others that could have satisfied my core requirements. My curiosity in Jewish culture probably stems from three sources: my Christian faith, Darren Aronofsky's film Pi (those crazy numerological Kabbalists are so entertaining), and the jar of shav in my friend Jeff's refrigerator... Mostly it's the jar of shav. In the short fifteen weeks that we have, I hope to learn what shav is and why it has sat untouched in Jeff's refrigerator during the entire four years that I have known him.

inebriated?