things i shouldve said to IV

i had very little time between waking up somewhat hung-over and running to the portfolio showing to develop ideas to share at the final IV meeting. there were things i know i wanted to say... and things that i've been mulling over, but never formulated enough to present.

but i think it's time to spill my thoughts before you all forget about the wise old jyee... before your memories of this sage fade. here they are... in no logical order:

first off, dating among the chapter should be forbidden, with some minor exceptions. that is to say if you'd like to date someone else in the chapter, it should be up for peer approval... a chapter vote or some sort of system. you see, dating within the chapter is like incest... aside from the christian "brother" and "sister" titles, IV is like a family. Dating among IV'ers usually leads to bad things... this is because when it comes to relationships we have a strong tendency to throw all christian order out the window and act like assholes. strong word but it's true. i know. i've acted like one. this makes breaking up worse than normal because the dirt of your failed relationship is brought within the chapter and tension is created... tension that causes division... tension that is not conducive to a God honoring chapter.

note that i do mention exceptions. there have been some wonderful relationships started in IV... but here are my exceptions: couples who were dating before joining IV and couples who have been approved by chapter vote. couples dating before IV interaction are exempt because it's not IV's position to fix things (so long as the couple is following God's rules). other couples need approval... this simply means that your friends who know you make better judgements than you do when you are blinded by what you believe is love. it's not so much an all IV thing. it could be limitted to your small group... but in short you need accountability... someone, some group to remind you to follow God's will and not your hormones. some group to remind you that you are still to focus on God first.

that's my dating rant... it's a bit extreme, but from 4 years of observations and fairly accurate predictions of successful and failed relationships has helped build it. this is also to note that my experience on the failed side and 20/20 hindsight also play a key.

on to the next rant: tattling. grow the fuck up! yes. more harsh words... but this is something that, again i have experience with and the only resulting conclusions were that some IV members are children. this is simple and biblical: if you have a problem with someone... if you think someone is sinning in any manner, confront them with it personally. walk your ass up to them, get in their face and say, "excuse me, i believe that what youre doing (be more specific of course), is not honoring God." that's all you have to say. they will then respond with a.) gratitude. b.) an explanation, in which you may realize that you misperceived things. or c.) nasty words or the hand. if they respond with c., then, and only then, should you go to trever, or karen, or whoever the staff member is at the time.

by not confronting someone personally you are saying that either you are not sure of your convictions (that is to say you dont think that what you believe has the strength to apply to others) or that you do not care enough to speak the word of God. the first options means that you do not believe that the holy spirit has not indwelled you with power. the second means that you do not love your siblings in christ. you are dealing with fellow believers, you have no reason to fear them and you have every reason to love them. go confront and stop being a chicken.

finally, speak your mind. do not hold back thoughts because you think they are dumb or not worth sharing or that everyone else will think they are dumb. have a little faith in yourself, God does. do not try to second guess what others will think about your thoughts, let them decide for themselves. speak your mind. change the world around you. everything matters. everything. you were put on this world to change this world. some of the craziest ideas have changed the world. share your crazy thoughts. share. it is not always about the thought that is shared, but about the act of sharing. think about it in the physical. you give an offering on sunday. God doesnt need your money. God could rain platinum bars down upon the church parking lot if he needed material valuables. You give an offering to change you... to change your perspective, your heart, your sense of worship and your notion of importance. it is about the act. in the same way, sharing your thoughts changes the giver and the receiver. it teaches the sharer to be open, to hide nothing, to fear nothing. it teaches the receiver to be accepting, to be listenning, to be compassionate. it makes the sharer feel valued when s/he is listenned to. it makes the hearer feel valued because s/he is trusted.

oh yeah, one last thing i almost forgot, dont take yourself so seriously. so what if people laugh at you, God laughs at you. do you think a god as big as our Lord would create such funny things as humans to do his will, and not chuckle. do you think the meek inheriting the earth was written just to be about humility for us or written to sound enigmatic? God is up there with the controls saying, "check this out, i can make it work backwards!" and then he's giggling. the prophet Ehud slays this fat, i mean we're talking orca fat, king and his knife gets lost in this dude's ripples of fat. that's funny! then Ehud locks the dead king in the bathroom and the servants dont find the dead body until Ehud escapes cuz they think the king is taking a poop. that is doubly funny. take a look in the mirror. you are not as handsome/pretty, graceful, beautiful, witty, smart, or whatever as you think you are. you are a goofy ape-like creature that God has blessed... but in the end your are a goofy hairless ape. this is funny. (note that whether or not you believe in evolutionary theory, we are still biologically mostly-hairless apes.) think about it. humans are not the largest, fastest, strongest or smartest animal on the planet. drop a bear into the wilderness and he does fine, drop a naked human and he whines and then dies for starvation and exposure. the only thing we've got is opposable thumbs... and the blessing of God. this is funny... because if you think about it, God couldve endowed gerbils with intellect and souls and his will wouldve been done... and imagining christian gerbils is really funny.

wow, i keep thinking of all these things at the last moment. question everything. question God, question the bible, question your staff. dont take anyone's word as being authoratative at first glance. God is not hurt or offended by your questioning him. there's that stuff about faith like a child, but lets face it, youre grown up, you have questions and doubts. god is big enough to handle that... and he'd rather have you question him than completely ignore him and go your own way. there are plenty of people in the bible who questioned God... the important thing to remember is first off, dont question if youre not willing to obey the answer... that is, get your heart right first. secondly, dont question if God already has told you the answer. God's not going to change his mind or trick you.

be honest with God. he knows everything. dont pretend to like something you dont. God would rather have you hot or cold than warm, so be honest. There are plenty of times where i've prayed "God. i hate this. i dont like the way youre doing this... it seems wrong to me... BUT i'm gonna follow you anyway." God is not offended by this. why? because you are following his will and you are being honest. God doesnt want fakers. he wants people who are honest... who maybe dont see his plan, but when they do they learn something about the character of God... they learn something about trusting God to see the Big picture.