Argon18 bikes. fun for the whole family

i keep getting weird emails from french canadians to info@argon18.com. i dont speak french and babelfish doesnt do a very good job. anyway, i got this email today from pascal:

Bonjour a toute l'équipe argon18, mes parents ayant un comerce (pas de vélo) et un # de TPS, je me demandait si l'ont pouvait acheter un vélo directement chez le fabriquant a prix moin élevé qu'un distributeur. Je pratique le triathlon et le duathlon depuis quelque années, je me suis retiré de la compé depuis un ans mais j'ai désidé de me remettre à l'entrainement sérieusement et il est temps de changer de vélo. Etant ex membre de l'équipe nationnal de duathlon, vous savez sans doute que les dépences reliés à ce sport sont énormes, j'aimerais donc pouvoir acheter un vélo à prix réduit. Merci et a la prochaine

feel free to cut and paste it into babelfish. basically it says that this guy has been racing bikes for years. he took a year off and now wants to get back into it. he's wondering if i can sell him an argon18 bike at discounted prices.

so i responded with this email:

Vous vous jtes retiris de la concurrence pendant une annie? Je doute d que vous jtes sirieux au sujet du sport. Vous jtes probablement paresseux et gros.

Je ne puis pas vous vendre une bicyclette au prix riduit. Je ne puis pas vous vendre une bicyclette au prix ordinaire. Nous avons eu des problhmes obtenir des roues de notre fournisseur et avons trhs peu de roues disponibles. Je puis vous vendre un unicycle aux prix riduits. Nos unicycles sont qualiti supirieure et sont bons pour la concurrence. Beaucoup de gens ne savent pas que quand j'itais sur l'iquipe nationale, j'ai utilisi un unicycle ` 3 ivinements nationaux.

S'il vous plant email je si vous voudriez plus d'informations sur nos unicycles.

which basically says, that i cant believe he took a year off. so i doubt he is serious about bicycling and that he's probably fat and lazy. i then go on to say that we've had problems with our wheel supplier and dont have any bikes, but that i can sell him a unicycle. i attest to the quality of the unicycles and say that i've used them 3 times in national competitions.

at this point he got pissed off cuz i said he was probably fat and lazy. he is so pissed off that his girlfriend sylvie replies in all caps english:

HI, THIS MORNING MY BOYFRIEND, PASCAL LAROUCHE, SENT YOU AN EMAIL ABOUT THE ARGON18. HE WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT HE HAVE A TAXE NUMBER AND HE WAS WONDERING IF HE COULD BUY AN ARGON 18 AT A REDUICE PRICE. BUT INSTEAD YOU ANSWERDED HIM THAT YOU THINK THAT HE WASN'T SERIOUS ABOUT CYCLING AND THAT HE WAS FAT AND LAZY. IT WAS VERY INSULTING COMING FROM A TOTAL STRANGER AND SOMETHING VERY SERIOUS LIKE THIS FOR HIM. I'M ANSWERING FOR HIM BECAUSE HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH AND ALSO BECAUSE I HOPE THAT YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT HE DEMANDED (JUST A YES OR NO ON A REDUICE PRICE WITH A TAXE NUMBER). IF YOU HAVE MORE EXPLAINATION ABOUT THIS, YOU CAN WRITE BACK TO MY EMAIL.

THANK YOU FOR CONSIDERING THIS LETTER.

yes, all caps. quite angry i'd say. i decided to continue this all because... well... i had nothing better to do. and for some reason i'm in that group of americans that dislikes french, dislikes canadians, and dislikes french canadians the most (i really dont, but it's fun to pick on a whole nation of people). so i responded with this email:

i'm sorry if i offended pascal, what i meant to say must have gotten lost in the poor translation from english to french.

as i tried to explain in my email to pascal, we do not have any bicycles available. the wheel supplier that we normally work with has had some problems in distribution.

we do have about 10 unicycles available for sale. the unicycles feature custom carbon fiber frames and feature shimano components. we also have one tandem unicycle available if you and pascal are interested in team unicycle competition.

please email me if you would like more information about our unicycles or if you would like to be put on our waiting list (so we can inform you when we receive more wheels for our bicycles).

i figure at some point i'll have to give the game up and tell them that i'm not who they want... but i figured that wouldve been obvious with the unicycles and then the tandem unicycles. maybe not. i'll keep adding as i get stuff.

Aha! hark! there is more. i found out that there is velo argon18 and someone named martin (i think that's pronounced mar-teeen) asked me to forward the email. so i did. and i decided to send our good friend sylvie this email:

hello sylvie,

we sold our last 10 unicycles yesterday afternoon to a group of clowns from the national circus. if you or pascal would like a unicycle, we can put you on our waiting list. the tandem unicycle is still available.

the good news is that our wheel supplier has finally delivered our wheels and we are selling bicycles again. i have forwarded Pascal's request to our bicycle specialists and they should contact him. if you need more information, please email our bicycle department at info@veloargon18.com

thank you,
the_obnoxious_american@argon18.com