i declare bankruptcy

Date: Wed, 10 Jul 2002 16:56:53 +0100
From: David Rossi <@cabalcomm.com>
To: velo@argon18.com
Subject: Outstanding Account - FAO ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT

Dear sir,

I'm writing from Cabal Communications Limited (Procycling magazine). I note you currently have 3 outstanding invoices to the value of #1,450 (pounds sterling). I should be obliged if you would pay us this outstanding money as soon as possible.

We accept credit cards, wire transfers or American cheques (of equivalent pound sterling value)!

Kind regards,

David Rossi
Credit Control
Cabal Communications Limited

egads, thats about $2,250 USD. anyway, how to send a fun reply without getting my ass sued? hows this:

Date: Wed, 10 Jul 2002 12:56:51 -0400 (EDT)
From: velo@argon18.com
To: david rossi
Subject: Re: Outstanding Account - FAO ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT

mr. rossi,

i am sorry to inform you that we will be unable to pay our outstanding invoices. the argon18.com unicycle company has filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

the professional unicycling market is not as strong as we had once thought and over the past year, we have had to cut costs and corners. unfortunately our cutting of corners led to some defective unicycle seat posts which resulted in the horrible groin injuries of several clowns at the national circus. the clowns brought a class action lawsuit against us and forced us out of business.

through some particular wording of the lawsuit, our sister company, argon18 bicycles, was able to avoid these legal matters. i believe they still operate this account with you and will be able to settle this matter. you may contact them at info@veloargon18.com or by tele: 514-271-2992.

-jason
argon18.com unicycles